Use your judgement.
You can’t follow the rules in Islam like life is black-and-white. Allaah has given us a sense of judgement which is what differentiates us from all of His other creations. He blessed us with this quality because it is intended for use during decision making in this life.
Problems arise when we follow rules in Islam like there is no alternative - and various times, there aren’t exceptions. But Islam is all-encompassing and Allaah is the most understanding and merciful and that is why He has provided us with the means to think for ourselves and use our judgement. There are as many hadith regarding exceptions the Prophet, salAllaahu a’layhi wasalam, made as there are rules he was strict about. This explains that exceptions are necessary and wisdom and judgement must be used in order to execute practices in Islam appropriately.
If we simply follow sunnah after sunnah and ayaah after ayaah, we will find numerous contradictions. We must use our understanding and judgement. It is excellent if you want to push yourself to increasing levels of piety but piety MUST COME WISDOM. Without wisdom in our piety, we will only become foolish.
Be wise about your practices and decisions.
May Allaah grant us wisdom and understanding and allow us to practice the deen in the way that pleases Him, ameen.
Morphine is an intoxicant.
It alters your judgement (similar to alcohol). And when consumed in an uncontrolled manner, it will easily result in death.
Such a product that is intoxicating in large amounts should be haraam in small amounts.
But when you’re in a hospital and you’ve broken your legs in an accident and the doctors can save your legs by means of surgery for which they will prescribe you a certain level of morphine that will numb your pain receptors and permit safe and easy pre-surgical treatment and post-surgery recovery, would you reject the morphine?
Originally found on: beautifulsabr
Our world is “carefully balanced on the edge of a hole in time.” This has to be the best scientific and artistic description of life I’ve come across so far.
We often question and doubt many concepts in Islam as we mature, such as, why can a Muslim man marry outside of Islam (ie: Christian or Jewish women) whereas a Muslim woman can’t do the same? And what is so different about dogs than cats that we can keep one in the home and not the other? And why can a man marry multiple women at a single time, but a woman can’t do the same with men?
The problem is that the society we live in is blind and we’ve become accustomed to the traditions we’ve seen growing up. We view marriage as a relationship of love and trust between one man and one woman. We view dogs as domestic and loving animals, just like cats. We don’t question what we’re used to; we question the things we haven’t seen or can’t understand because they aren’t a part of the society we grew up in.
We don’t question why humans can’t fly, or why the sky has to be above and the ground has to be below. We don’t question why the sun is brighter than the moon and why Earth is the only liveable planet. We don’t argue that a man should be able to bear children and give birth. We don’t argue why women have more adipose (fat) tissue than men.
We don’t question or doubt these things because we’re used to them; we grew up with these concepts as basic, every day ideas that we don’t have a problem with because we’re used to them.
But there is more to life than we’ve seen, and Allaah has seen it all and knows it all, and He has created the religion to be all-encompassing - even of the things we can’t understand.
When you’re in doubt or confused, gain knowledge and seek refuge in Allaah. Have faith that He is the best planner and the Creator of all that we know and all that we don’t.
When you gain knowledge of the religion, you will understand that just like women can give birth and men cannot, women have more patience and men have more protectiveness/jealousy and this is why men are allowed more than one wife at a time. But our minds can’t grasp this concept because we’ve grown up seeing homes and weddings where only two people are involved in a love relationship, and so we’re not used to polygamy. When you gain knowledge, however, you’ll understand that polygamy was used as a method to protect widowed, orphaned, disabled women who in that era could not take care of themselves, and there weren’t nearly enough men for every woman. You will learn the prophet, peace and blessings upon him, always married due to a commandment of Allaah, either to set an example or develop a ruling or to protect a woman/family or prevent fitnah (uproar).
But until you gain knowledge about what is out there that you aren’t aware of, you will question things and you will doubt things and Allaah has created you so He understands that these things will happen. That’s why He has commanded for us to gain knowledge.
It’s okay to be doubtful, it’s okay to be confused. But don’t let yourself stay that way and don’t let it pull you away from the religion. Do something about it. Seek help and counsel from scholars. Seek forgiveness and understanding from Allaah.
May He guide us all and grant us knowledge, wisdom, and understanding, ameen.
If you were at your lowest low in life - you were expelled from your college, your spouse abandoned you, and you had no job - and a person you respected - perhaps even a religious figure in your community - came to you and said “come, let’s hurry to jannah,” what would you do?
Many people in that position would join the respected person, because he’s respected, and appears to love and practice Islam, and you have nothing to lose and nothing worth living for any way…
After joining the person, if he told you one hadith after the other and one sunnah after the other about the benefits (and necessity) of an Islamic state, of how threats aren’t “forceful” and therefor permissible, of how this and how that and continuously bending your realistic perspective of things into a warped understanding of Islam… Gradually, you will become brainwashed. I’ve seen this, myself, happen to followers of ISIS.
Has a friend ever convinced you that chicken without undergoing zhabeeha methods is halal when you initially considered it haraam (or vice versa)? Has an imam ever convinced you that nutmeg is haraam? Has a scholar ever convinced you that you are forbidden to speak to the opposite gender unless it is a life and death situation and you are certain you can do something to save their life?
We’ve all faced situations like that and we’ve all experienced - at least once - being convinced of things that would usually appear unrealistic and incorrect to us.
This happens because we aren’t very firm in our faith and we are even weaker in our understanding of the religion and what Allaah truly wants from us. If we don’t work hard to understand Islam, we will easily be mislead by people - especially when we are in vulnerable phases of our lives. And everyone faces vulnerability.
So learn the faith. Learn the lives of the various prophets and their followers, a’alayhis salaamu waradiAllaahu anhum, at various times of existence. And learn from a variety of sources and a variety of scholars from a variety of backgrounds. Expand your understanding of the world and the faith. Allaah azza wajal has commanded us to learn both and for very obvious and wise reasons.
May He guide us and forgive us, ameen. May He protect us from shaytaan and his persuasion and may He grant us jannah for our efforts and intentions, ameen.
I didn’t have any expectations for my marriage.
I always had a very pessimistic view on marriage - especially Muslim marriages. And I never hoped for anything in mine.
People often ask me if I’m happy now because I had no expectations to begin with, and I don’t know what to say.
Being pessimistic about marriage is not the Islamic way. Allaah azza wajal has described marriage as a source of tranquility and as a blessing and to view it otherwise is to neglect the intended purpose of it. So I was probably wrong to be pessimistic. But to say that because I had no expectations I am content with what I have now is also not realistic.
Of course you should have expectations - not just of your spouse, but of yourself. You should expect that they will be a source of happiness, but you should also expect that you will work hard to achieve that happiness and the effort doesn’t rely solely on your spouse. You should expect that a spouse will remain loyal to you, and honest to you - because you are not being fair to yourself if you are with an unfaithful and dishonest person. But you can’t expect they won’t make mistakes - because they will. Some forgivable, and perhaps others not.
But most importantly, the expectations you do have must be realistic!
Don’t expect things that aren’t necessary. Don’t expect things that are your preferences. Don’t expect that their mood won’t affect their behaviour, or that the passion will never be lessened, or that you will be able to change them into exactly what you want. And don’t expect you’ll find your soulmate in your spouse right away.
You should expect that they will continue to grow and develop alongside you, that they will remain faithful, that they will befriend you. But don’t expect that even these minimal expectations will always be met - because everyone is human after all. And when even these minimal expectations aren’t met, you must expect from yourself to have patience and wisdom to stay by their side and help them overcome the challenges they face.
That’s marriage. And every marriage is different. So don’t expect your marriage to be just like another’s you’ve seen. And don’t expect your marriage to be something you’ve only imagined.
Just be realistic. This is the dunya (world) after all and it wasn’t meant to be perfect.